I remember the feelings of panic and overwhelm that used to consume me in times of emergency. Whatever the situation was, I would be convinced that it would all be too much for me to figure out, too much to handle. But I’ve noticed a trend lately, a trend for which I give all thanks and glory to God! I’ve become much faster at transitioning from freaking out to following God.

When we have no hot water and I can’t figure out why, when I get a massive chip in the windshield, when the brand new tire on the ride-on lawnmower goes pancake flat and I can’t imagine how the grass will get cut for the rest of the season, I still feel a flicker of freak out. But God’s presence is right there, and He reminds me that He has a plan. God knows my limitations. If I just follow Him, step by step, He will make a way. He will provide the solution.

I am discovering that one of the biggest blessings of a deployment is a heightened sense of God’s presence with me. I know it. I feel it. I’m more convinced of it than ever. Jesus is right there beside me. We talk continuously, day or night, whether it’s smooth sailing or stormy seas. He is teaching me to simply follow Him rather than fret, and I can’t imagine doing this six month single parenting stint without Him!

This morning I read Psalm 131, and it was such a picture of this work of God in my heart. I love how the New Century Version translates it:

I don’t do great things, and I can’t do miracles. But I am calm and quiet, like a baby with its mother. I am at peace, like a baby with its mother. (Psalm 131:1b-2)

I know some translations point to the contentment of a “weaned” child, but the Hebrew here could also refer to a child who grows quiet at its mother’s breast.

Having nursed four babies, I can relate to that! I can remember scrambling to nurse them when they were hungry and fussy, how they would snuggle in, gulp ravenously, and be deeply satisfied with the nourishment I could provide. As a mom, it almost makes you feel like a superhero to be able to take them from demanding to drowsing in your embrace.

Let’s just say I’m getting faster at “latching” on to God in my fussy moments. I’m learning that He has what will nourish me and meet my needs. I can’t do miracles, but He can! And that gives me peace.