I thought it would be fun from time to time to choose a recent read to highlight. This was one I felt deserved a review rather than just a rating on Goodreads. It stirred up words in me, not just simple stars.
Author Tia Levings does an incredible job of telling her story in A Well-Trained Wife…as raw and as hard as it is to read. She is a talented writer who has a beautiful way with words. I don’t usually enjoy memoirs that run chronologically, but it works in this case. Rather than jumping back-and-forth too much in time, Tia keeps it very linear. But that doesn’t make it boring!
If you’re anything like me, you’ll power through this gripping story. I have to warn you though, if you decide to dive into this book, there is uncomfortable language peppered throughout. It won’t be one you’d want to pop on audio with the kids in the car! I listened on audio, privately, and found it quite jarring by times. Reading it in print may help.
Some may be put off by the way she uses her story to highlight political concerns. But may I humbly suggest that even if that does make you a little uncomfortable, it could be an indication that you need to hear what she has to say?
I know that not every family in fundamentalist circles is living the nightmare that hers did; but I believe we can no longer deny that the authoritarian structures and high-control environments in some of these pockets of the Church are creating space for such atrocities to happen.
As I listened to her inner dialogue, I felt so heavy hearted by the rules-based religion she was immersed in…a religion so far removed from the dynamic, healing, life-giving relationship God invites us to. Churches (no matter how healthy they think they are) need to listen to stories like Tia’s, because they reveal some hideous blind spots.
“Stay where I can see you,” is a line she uses repeatedly throughout the book…like what you might say to your children when you set them loose in a crowded playground. It’s a phrase that’s sticking with me. Personally, I’ve found great comfort in recent years in the recognition that I am ever in God’s sight. To know you are truly seen, loved, and provided for can heal so many wounds. I believe this is something that we could do a better job of with one another as women, especially when the darkness seeks to swallow us up.
Tia’s story is challenging me to learn to listen for the real heartbeat behind someone’s carefully chosen words, to see between their happy, polished lines. It’s got me wondering how I can identify myself as a helper and somehow create space and safety for those who are hurting and hiding.
Have you read this brand new release yet? It’s one that’s sure to evoke some strong reactions. I’d love it if you left a comment below. Perhaps we can process some of those thoughts together.
Find A Well-Trained Wife on Amazon here.
If you’re on Goodreads and would like to connect there, you can find me here.